Drop dead, Ira Glass, you smarmy bastard.

Have you seen these everywhere? On the streets, on the Web, in your nightmares, and everywhere else not yet plastered over by an Obama poster? You have, if you live in Manhattan... where apparently every subway- and bus-urchin is a latte-sipping, smarmy but guilty Ivy grad. (I, myself, eschew coffee and guilt.) We too-hip liberals sure love to commodify our quirky countercultural fetishes.

But hey, can I at least get on a g--damned bus without having some fawning iconography of my generation's Andy Rooney shoved down my gullet? Maybe I can write a radio spot about that. And draw it out over an hour. And shove David Sedaris in there with a bunch of Prius-driving Yalies to talk about how amazing "ordinary people" are.